Traveling is a beloved hobby of mine. This year my trip to France was purposely planned during this second week of May during Mother’s Day in the USA, which is May 12th.
This year will be the first year I will have a Mother’s Day without a living mother. I wanted to be in the city of love during this holiday in some ways to distract, in other ways to do something I love on that painful day that will remind me of what I have just lost. Having lost my mother the first of January, it’s been a painful few months. Losing a mother is an awful and earth shattering experience, one that we all will unfortunately experience. On my second day in Paris, we booked a beautiful dinner trip down the Seine river on a wooden boat called the Califia.
It was beautiful as we slowly cruised down the Seine enjoying the 3 course candlelit dinner and experiencing the gorgeous sights around us. We began to speak with the couple seated next to us, a delightful Canadian couple. Talking to this Canadian woman, she mentioned to me she had just lost her mother last June. I got teary eyed and told her I just lost mine in January. She looked at me with genuine warmth and understanding, and she shook her head in sympathy.
She told me it was okay to get emotional and then she told me something I am sure I was meant to hear. She told me she read a book Maria Shriver wrote about grief and healing, and how Maria Shriver is still grieving her mother, the famous Eunice Kennedy Shriver. Maria Shriver said, "You never fully become a woman until you lose your mother, " and how everyday she asks her mother if she is okay, and how she looks for signs and messages from her mother. I think about this now as we embark on this 12 day journey in France and I ask myself what signs I will see from my Mother on this trip. I am sure there will be many.
It is spring here in France, the flowers and new green lushness tell me it’s time to begin again and to think about what sort of woman I am to be now that I am without a mother on earth. My first step is this trip and really enjoying the moments with my husband in this country of love.